Bentley EXP 9 F SUV

I would like to go on record from the outset and say that I'm an avid cook. It is one of life's great pleasures to take the time to actually prepare the ingredients that one shovels down one's throat with consummate ease. The variety of tastes and influences are seemingly endless but it is at this point that one must tread with caution. By all means try out Moroccan or Thai cuisines- steer clear of Korean unless you like your Jack Russell served rare- but do not begin to think that your late night tinkering with a Green Prawn curry is the de facto standard, or the best. If only the Germans- yes it's them again- had considered this when pondering the new Bentley concept.

Grille just oozes class

Over the last few years Bentley's clientele has undergone a large makeover resulting in a customer base that is more Rooney than retirement home. Bentley now sees it fit to cater to this new-money image by providing them with a truly British SUV, a car that will be the last line in size and luxury. Clearly however the recipe for what defines good British taste did not translate well for old Fritz. Whilst British design should be gracefully understated, this looks like it has been supping too long on the Bratwurst and Sauerkraut. Bentley's head of engineering, Rolf Frech, even had the audacity to state that this car would renew this "understated British design"language as if it had been lost. It is not as though they haven't seen a Spitfire before.

The body may have the aesthetic appeal of an abattoir but at least one can be sure that it will pack some grunt. This get-out-of-my-way poor person level of oomph comes from the 6.0l W12 that it shares with the Continental GT. Sources have stated that one should expect more than 600 hp and enough torque to change the tides, but it is not like this gargantuan power is surplus. With a kerb weight close to that of Uranus the fact that this moves on petrol power alone is a marvel, i'm surprised that it doesn't have a nuclear reactor.

Rolf please stop! Think of the children

Currently just a marketing experiment- there is a god!!- Bentley says that it aims to gauge customer and public reaction from its unveiling but judging by the out-of-order signs adorning the Geneva toilets it seems that it has left a bitter taste. So there you go, a new age recipe on understated British design from a country that understands Britain as much France. Not once have we tried to reinvent Sauerkraut but now we have been given a bastardized version of Bangers & Mash. Bad form, ol' chap.