Range Rover: Convertible Evoque Revealed

If you squint hard enough you can actually see Wayne Rooney's face, ..honest.

If Britain does one thing well, it is tradition. Traditions such as afternoon tea, the monarchy and beating the Germans are the bedrock of British society today. One tradition that eclipses all others though is their love of small soft-top roadsters. The image of a couple strapping the luggage to the boot and heading off in to the country is as British as chicken tikka masala and Monty Panesar. This love of the diminutive drop top comes from the their propensity for building the things. Cars like the MG Midget and Austin Healey boasted engines that wouldn't look out of place in a coffee grinder but that was precisely the point, they were revvy and fun. Tradition however seems to have been overlooked by Land Rover with their latest creation that is sure to turn a few heads, and stomachs.

Essentially what they have done is take a very pretty, modern example of British design, and ruin almost every aspect of its aesthetics, and in doing so have spilt Earl Grey down the waistcoat of tradition. It's called the Range Rover Evoque Convertible and while it may be based on one of the more alluring designs of recent times, vomit inducing would not be an inaccurate description. Much of the angular slope that was associated with the 'proper' Evoque has been lost and has created the sense that it is wallowing under its own weight. 

Only a concept at this stage, Land Rover claims that it is an exercise in exploring the potential for "the world's first premium convertible SUV. At this point tradition rears its troublesome head again as previous attempts of convertible off-roaders haven't exactly set the market alight. The most recent attempt, the Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet, was and still is, so hideous that to date they have only sold 50 examples in the only country stupid enough to sell them, the United States. It is not as if though that these 50 morons who purchased the Nissan Frankenstein were feeling the economic pinch either, as it cost over R500,000 and this raises worrying questions back in Britain. Who will buy this thing?

The standard Evoque has become the de-facto vehicle for the young playboy plying his trade -is it really a job?- at one of the various football clubs dotted around London. With this in mind the clientele that this is aimed at clearly has very little idea of what classy living is about. This new money vigour is summed up in the use of chrome on the concept which sports so much bling it is surprising that 50 Cent isn't the chauffeur. 

In the end this gaudy monstrosity boils down to the opinion of taste. Inevitably it will be bought by people whose children sport names like Rio and Kevin but should the rest of the public allow this driven embodiment of Wayne Rooney to trample across the institutional landmark that is Land Rover? Some people may argue that Land Rover is no longer British due to its Indian ownership, but what could typify modern Britain more than losing one's country to an upstart from the East.